las nitex clarified things wif her. its normal to feel sad n pain again.. short pain is better den long pain. at least i managed to slp..not lyk tt nitex after bbq when im totally lost. lolx.. ya. i was rather insensitive to want her to tell me personally too. guess i was too carried away by emotions bahx. all my guesses were wrong. haha. its alrite.. she said tt she dun even noe whether i had chance or not. well, sometimes i really wonder if its a good sign or not. perhaps tis shows tt she had once considered me bahx.. i wonder how r they getting along.. but nvm..perhaps shes struggling rite now. dun wanna add on to her troubles..anyway, shall not keep thinking about something tt gets nowhere.
jus now after the voluntary work at sci centre, i did something quite crazy. i actually walked home from there. haha. took abt 2 hrs to reach home. hmm...i was oso listening to music n thinking of stuffs..trying to sort out my tots n stablise my emotions. well, little did i expected the experience was quite nice.. i mean..strolling n thinking while listening.. along the way, i even saw sunset when i was under a big tree by the side..n wif the breeze, there were some leaves falling down.. wah......its really beautiful under the orange rays. somehow, the walk helps n i was feeling alrite after tt. its lyk.....abit numb le. i mean the pain...i took the long cut n walked past the nearby terrace hses.. its quiet n feels peaceful, jus lyk it always does. since young, hav always wanted to live in landed property.. anyway, it meets her criteria of big hse..haha. kiddin..think too far.
okok. so now..will be treating her lyk the way i did before tis incident..treat her nice nice.. haha. lyk i said on earlier posts. wadever happens, even if im working towards a never-ending goal..i shall hold on tight to tt little hope tt i gav myself. but im a little worried tt we will hav nth to say...tis time round if nth to say, guess will really feel wierd. anyway, let nature takes its course bahx...
